Civil Rights Activists are Not to Blame for Racism
And feminists are not to blame for misogyny
There are a number of men who call themselves feminists (or similar), who just don’t seem to have the vaguest idea as to why so many women today are angry with men and are actively turning away from the roles of wife and mother. These men continually tell us “not all men” (duh, we know that), whilst overlooking completely that ours is a patriarchal society which means “run by and for men”.
There are many men on Medium who very clearly understand and accept the gender imbalance between men and women, and who express their compassion for the injustices we experience. However, men like Argumentative Penguin (AP), although calling himself a “gender egalitarian”, seems completely unable to understand or accept that imbalance. He refers to women’s issues and bluntly states that feminism is not about women’s issues: it’s about building a fairer society. However, women’s issues are some of the very issues that must be addressed before we gain a fairer society.
sublimus is another who calls himself a feminist, and believes in female supremacy and matriarchy, but also states that women want to be “flowers” who are dependent on men. I’ve noticed that he gets quite a bit of praise from women on this platform, but many of his comments seem incredibly misogynistic to me.
Recently, AP stated that those who position themselves as feminists are carrying too much baggage and not enough insight. As one of those feminists, AP, and at age 71, I say you have absolutely no idea what baggage we carry, and no inkling as to our insight but, after all, you believe you know better than women.
For thousands of years, women have been downtrodden, oppressed, exploited, murdered, raped, beaten, mutilated, sex trafficked, veiled, hidden, forbidden education, forbidden financial freedom, forbidden reproductive freedom, humiliated, imprisoned in mental asylums…
AP went on to say that “Men will have to get on board with feminism in their own time; you can lead a horse to water, but kicking it repeatedly won’t make it drink”. So, there you have it: men should take their time, and women should stop “kicking” them, because according to AP, that’s what we’re doing.
For thousands of years, women have been downtrodden, oppressed, exploited, murdered, raped, beaten, mutilated, sex trafficked, veiled, hidden, forbidden education, forbidden financial freedom, forbidden reproductive freedom, humiliated, imprisoned in mental asylums, etc., etc., etc., but we should allow men to get on board with feminism in their own time. And by the way, we shouldn’t kick them, even though if men had stopped at just kicking women for the past thousands of years we probably wouldn’t be having this conversation.
Then there was “Feminism has turned men off. Many feminists think this is a good thing. That’s worrying. More worryingly, it has turned men off en-masse, even those inclined to listen in the first instance have moved away. There have been a number of complications which weren’t adequately addressed at the time and a lack of insight into how those problems might play out. There were tactics but no grand strategy. That’s a fuck up we’ll regret in the long run.” Thank you so much, AP, for your esteemed opinion regarding the manner in which women have conducted their attempts at gaining freedoms they should never have lost, but did, thousands of years ago.
Further on, AP states “one of the key complications of the modern age is the over-education and infantilisation of boys by mothers and primary school teachers (who are predominantly women).”
Okay, AP. Considering that women gained the vote in the early twentieth century, and feminism began in the 1960’s, please advise why misogyny has been practiced for thousands of years, if it’s a “modern” problem.
Of course, throughout his discourse, AP has sprinkled some “gender egalitarian” phrases and sentences, and made a comment that he’d also like to end racism. He makes a few comments about racism but neglects to suggest in any way that activism by colored people is “turning off” white people, either individually or en masse.
AP then asks what women should do to prevent the “rise of extreme misogynist narratives” and answers the question with “Women can have no control over the rise of extreme misogynist narratives — by the nature of what these discussions are, they will be excluded at source. However, that doesn’t mean female discussions aren’t having an impact on the radicalization of young men.”
So, according to AP, women are excluded, (now, as we always were in the past) from information about misogynist narratives at the source, however, as women (openly) express their issues and opinions, young men will be radicalized. AP then states:
“And yes, someone will eye-roll and say ‘So its all the fault of women, is it?”
To which AP says “’yes, partly’ and lets not pretend otherwise. You cannot on one hand demand men “sort shit out” and then not give the psychological or social space to do so. You need only spend a few minutes here on Medium to see how unfriendly this place is to men when discussing gender and rights”.
AP, please describe what “the psychological or social space to do so” would look like. And you know what? We never DEMANDED that men sort out their shit. All we ever wanted was to be treated fairly, humanely. Even after we were given the vote, women had no rights. Universities continued to refuse women entry to studies, we were not allowed to have a bank account without our father’s or husband’s written permission, we couldn’t have a mortgage in our own name. Not until feminism!
White men are a privileged group. White men are at the top of the human hierarchy. I know you’re not black, AP, because no black man would make the presumptuous, entitled statements you have made. And, like sublimus, you are not gender egalitarian or feminist, you are just another misogynist in sheep’s clothing looking for an audience for your vitriol.
To this very day, women continue to be raped, murdered, trafficked, kidnapped, beaten, abused, stalked, threatened, etc., etc., etc. So pardon us if we’re heartily fed up waiting for men to stop doing that to us!
Racism and misogyny are fruit of the same poisoned vines: entitlement, xenophobia, greed, bullying. Don’t blame civil rights activists for racism, and don’t blame feminists for misogyny.
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