Family Homelessness is Everywhere
Let’s Address It!
My co-author and I will be presenting our new book and film in the mountain town of Boone, NC, next month. Most residents and tourists here have no idea of the scope of family homelessness.
Family homelessness is the best kept secret, doing a tremendous injustice to those who experience it. Not a problem here in Boone, Blowing Rock, or the rest of Watauga County, North Carolina, you think? Think again.
The other day, talking to a Boone medical practitioner, a mom of 2 kids, I mentioned our Sept. 27 event at the Appalachian Theater to launch a new book, The Three Melissas — The Practical Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness. That evening, my co-author, Diana Bowman and I will discuss the book’s highlights and shed some light on this perplexing issue. We will also give free copies to families experiencing homelessness.
This medical professional shared, “I was homeless as a kid with my mom.” And she gave me the look that I’ve seen hundreds of times from kids and parents — a mixture of shame and relief to let the secret out. This was an all-too-common domestic violence situation which occurs in all income level households, and frequently causes homelessness. This woman’s family had to leave their home without resources.
She added that she was afraid she’d have to change schools. I’ve heard the same fear scores of times as I interviewed families for my nonprofit, HEAR US Inc. The good news is: kids may lose their homes, but they don’t have to lose their schools. It’s a federal law. For the more than 35,000 homeless school kids in North Carolina, that stability is guaranteed.
And she gave me the look that I’ve seen hundreds of times from kids and parents — a mixture of shame and relief to let the secret out
Our unique book is made possible by the Three Melissas, moms whose experience of homelessness with their kids taught them invaluable lessons of survival. Diana and I, though we’re considered “experts” in this field of family homelessness with more than 75 years of experience between us, recognize that the true experts are the (mostly) moms who struggle to provide for their kids.
Moms, who get little to no help from “the system,” must raise their kids and meet a standard of care impossible without adequate resources. No excuse. They must make sure their kids are clean, show up for school on time, eat well, stay healthy, and obey the law.
What doesn’t get factored in, which has a major impact on kids and adults, is dealing with trauma. When bad things — abuse, tragedies, violence, horrible hardships, etc. — happen, it has an impact. Depending on circumstances, the impact can be devastating, life-changing. Things like domestic violence, house fire or other disasters, eviction, family troubles, and abject poverty will ravage parents and their kids.
I’ve worked in this issue for 40 years. It’s far worse today than when I first started, for scores of reasons. My “Other Stuff” chart highlights some of the issues. Our nation’s inability to acknowledge and address contemporary family homelessness has made life unnecessarily miserable for tens of millions of children, women and men.
The good folks at Hospitality House (the local program that serves seven counties in NW North Carolina) will vouch for what I’m saying. Every day they are besieged with desperate families and individuals with agonizing situations.
It’s for HospHouse honoring their 40th anniversary that we are doing this event at App Theater on Sept. 27. It’s free, open to the public.
For $15 you can buy a copy of the book. Proceeds go to these Melissas. Or, we’ve initiated a “Buy One, Give One” effort — so you can buy 2 books for $20 and keep one and give one that will be given to a local family that can use the help.
This is the first book by homeless moms for homeless moms. We’re honored to share their message!
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