Fat Is My Refuge

Why being fat has been safer for me

Vena Moore
Fourth Wave

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Photo by AllGo - An App For Plus Size People on Unsplash

Unlike other women, I can’t recall the very first time I got catcalled. It just seemed that one day, I had the ability to navigate the world with ease, without much worry about being harmed emotionally or physically, and the next day, I’d lost the ability to go out in public alone without men leering at me or making suggestive comments. The comments, the stalking, and the groping frightened me, resulting in hating how my breasts, hips, or butt could make boys as well as grown men lose their decorum.

An extreme example of this is when I became a survivor of attempted rape at 13. I went on a trip with a family friend. The family friend brought her son as well as her stepson along. One morning, the family friend and her son stepped out of the hotel room we were staying in to get some breakfast. The stepson, who was 16, took it as an opportunity to pounce. He didn’t get the chance to finish the rape he intended to commit because the family friend and her son returned to the room faster than he thought they would.

That incident solidified how much my body didn’t belong to me. It existed to be used and abused by males. While that is the most extreme example of the pain and trauma my body caused me, I experienced the most frequent and intense harassment from men from approximately age 11 until around age 22…

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Vena Moore
Fourth Wave

Dismantling white, male supremacy one word at a time.