Hoping Your Kids Marry? They Will Probably Help You Less If They Do
Grown kids who are single help their aging parents more
It seems to be a nearly universal wish among parents — to see their kids get married. Many don’t even think of it as an option; of course, their kids will all marry, it is only a question of when. Then, if any grown kid seems to be staying single too long, by their parents’ measuring stick, the questions and innuendos begin: What happened to that nice person you used to date? So-and-so’s kid is back in town; you know, you two have a lot in common. And the classic, which doesn’t need to be tied to marriage at all but still is: So when are you going to give me grandchildren?
Maybe when they fantasize about their grown kids getting married, some parents are also thinking about their future, and they have a fantasy about that, too: With their kids all coupled, they will get lots of help from them when they need it as they get older. After all, aren’t married people the family-oriented types and singles mostly selfish?
I’ve been challenging stereotypes about selfish singles and generous couples (along with lots of other similar stereotypes) for many years. My favorite way to do so is with big, impressive studies. It is all the better when the studies are based on representative national…
