I Want To Hate The GRWM Trend, But I Cannot
Because this is the peak women owning their bodies moment
Started as a You tube trend in 2011, “get ready with me” or “outfit of the day” videos are still popular on many social media platforms.
I get annoyed at these GRWM videos for different reasons. They were fun in the beginning, but now, I feel they are overkill. The people who do them are not really well versed with fashion and I find many of their choices unappealing.
But have I ever wanted those people to stop doing what they are doing? Never. Because GRWM videos go beyond just fashion or marketing for brands.
Commenters are enraged about women taking control
Most of the time, as the comments under these videos show, the videos attract the attention of a non-target audience (men) who are often critical of more than the outfits.
Male commenters seem to have gotten offended by women choosing to get dressed in front of a camera. Some women are shamed (mostly by men) for getting naked before everyone by staging the changing of clothes process online — even when they are creative with their transitions and don’t show themselves undressed.
In a literal sense, nobody is naked. But can we call them semi-naked? I don’t know where the line should be drawn. Different limits exist to what is seen as an offensive amount of skin, based on culture.
But the choice of the words “naked” or “semi-naked” in the comments are usually used to make the poster feel attacked. The commenters go on to preach to women about morality, how modesty is a virtue, and then to shame them for the liberty they have taken.
The choice of the words “naked” or “semi-naked” in the comments are usually used to make the poster feel attacked. The commenters go on to preach to women about morality, how modesty is a virtue, and then to shame them for the liberty they have taken.
That’s the part I like best. Women taking liberty. In light of the criticism from mostly men, what would the unhindered continuance of this trend mean? It would mean women have the power to make their own choices.
Women have a right to choose what they wear
Women, provided with a safer space, would not think twice about wearing a skirt that goes way above their knees or a blouse with a plunging deep neckline. And yes, sadly, it’s not easy to find a safe place for women to wear whatever they like.
If they do as they please in risky settings, a lot could go wrong. A pervert could end up sexually assaulting them. I am not saying that the dress would cause the assault, but if the pervert assaults the women when she is wearing a dress deemed inappropriate by the society she lives in, the assaulter may be able to shift the blame to the woman, in society’s eyes.
In societies like India, even a moderately revealing dress could cause a lot of tension. People tell you how it is disrespectful, how good women are modest, and also make a comparison with women from older times, describing how they “earned” their respect by following the norms of covering their bodies.
But nobody is ready to discuss the amount of autonomy the women of those times held was near zero. Did they have a choice with how they dressed? The concept of modesty attached to women, displayed through her clothing, is nothing but a tool to control women’s autonomy.
The GRWM videos challenge all those notions of control related to how women choose to display their bodies, in public or private. Women in these videos are often seen shooting from their “safe space,” i.e., their bedrooms. But virtually, their act of freedom finds a place in the public realm.
The concept of modesty attached to women, displayed through her clothing, is nothing but a tool to control women’s autonomy.
It is not what outfit they put on in the end that matters. The whole act of changing their clothes in front of a camera enrages some people. It doesn’t matter how creative they get in order to not strip down until they are totally naked, the very act of changing a dress, even with innerwear on, can heighten imagination and make the video look bolder than the actual revelation.
Is that wrong? No. Humans beings, like several animal species, have the tendency to be territorial, and they engage in the act of marking their territory in several ways. Our bodies are also treated as territories. When a woman puts clothes she like, or wears make up as she pleases, she is claiming her body as her own.
It’s nobody’s business to police a woman’s body
I remember an old post on the internet, where a woman from Northeast India, where the culture is a lot different from the mainstream Indian culture, is seen adjusting her saree drape in a public place. What got the attention of people on the internet was that nobody (read no man in particular) paid any attention to her.
It highlighted how it’s nobody’s business to police a woman’s body, and any (accidental or intentional) exposure of her body should not be the subject of morals, lust, control, or a sexual trigger.
That's what the GRWM videos are also about. The women posting them are experiencing liberty at its best, virtually stepping into public spaces, defying the norms dictated by the gatekeepers of the culture. People who cannot, for whatever reason, agree that a woman has a right to make choices about her own body, are rendered powerless. They can attack only through comments, at best.
GRWM videos may come across as cringe, offer bad fashion, exist to gain engagement, to promote sponsors, or even to lie about their life. But when I see people criticize them for simply exercising their freedom of bodily autonomy, I want the videos to thrive.
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