It’s Okay To Call Your Racist Relatives Racist

White discomfort is a necessary component in our effort to defend Black lives

A photograph taken during the 1963 March on Washington (Unsplash.com)

*While this is a true account, pseudonyms and small fictionalizations were used to protect the identities of the subjects described herein.

I only recently unearthed dormant childhood memories of my Aunt Karen referring to Brazil nuts as “n***** toes.” She said it a number of times over the course of many years. Was it five times? Was it more? I couldn’t be sure. But I realized that, at the time, I didn’t understand the meaning behind this strange phrase. What I did recall quite vividly was how she would chuckle after these remarks, as if she had gotten away with something.

The disturbing recollection resulted from a combative social media exchange in which I ended up calling my aunt a “racist piece of shit.” I know this may seem harsh, but I can explain. A good friend had shared a post that stated the names and ages of three recent young victims of police violence: Adam Toledo (13), Daunte Wright (20), and Ma’Khia Bryant (16). The caption simply said, “Babies.” To this heartbreaking acknowledgment of Black and Brown children taken before their time by an inherently white supremacist society, my aunt commented, “Armed felons.”