THE THREE MELISSAS
Lessons About Family Homelessness
Learn from the experts
What a difference a year makes! Last year at this time I was stressing out about our upcoming “The Three Melissas — The Practical Survival Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness” national book launch on Sept. 17–18 in Raleigh, NC. I hadn’t even noticed Hurricane Helene bearing down on us.
My co-author Diana Bowman and I had never brought the 3 Melissas together in-person. They were super excited to be flown in for what ended up being a big deal series of events, adeptly organized by our amazing Raleigh team of Mary Haskett and Sarah Sarbonie.
As Helene ripped limbs from trees, I scrambled to process sales of thousands of books from across the country. News media coverage of the book and the 3 Melissas was beyond what we could dream!
As I finally was able to report, everything went wonderfully! And the follow-up events and activities scheduled in FL, KS, and IL — the states where the Melissas live — were equally as satisfying and successful.
So, what’s to write about?
Two topics niggle at my brain:
1) Is/was this project worthwhile?
2) Melissas — what does being involved with this project mean to you?
Worthwhile?
Absolutely worthwhile, now more than ever! In every gathering centered on this book we held, readers confessed:
“I thought I knew about family homelessness. Reading this little book opened my eyes!” or “I never even thought about family homelessness. I had no idea!”
Those reactions validate our belief that people just don’t know what millions of kids and their parents/guardians are going through. And they need to know if we’re ever going to make headway easing this growing crisis.
In this time of political turmoil (to say the least), when the sparse and frayed safety net is under attack by deadly budget cuts, family homelessness will surge unmercifully.
- Families, for the most part, will have no idea of what hit and what to do about it.
- School staff will struggle with the influx of students dealing with housing instability and loss.
- Communities will juggle declining income and need to make fiscally sound decisions about who gets help; they often lack awareness about family homelessness.
Lesson from Hurricane Helene
Sadly, here in North Carolina, the value of our book became apparent soon after launch day. At the end of September, 2024, when Hurricane Helene ravaged western NC, and parts of FL, GA, TN, and VA, homelessness became real as homes, businesses, and countless communities were literally washed away.
That’s what makes The Three Melissas — The Practical Guide for Surviving Family Homelessness such an important handbook. It’s filled with tips from three mothers, all named Melissa, who experienced homelessness with their kids. Their advice is based on real experiences and they don’t hold back. They courageously share their wisdom to help parents make their difficult times a little easier for themselves and their children. — www.3melissas.org
Unrestrained cascading rivers and streams upended schools, houses, vehicles, campers, trees, and everything along the way. And people. More than 100 people died as a result of the storm. More than 100,000 homes were damaged or destroyed in North Carolina. Thousands of people got a firsthand look at homelessness, some for a short time, some for much longer, some still. Volunteers poured in from across the country to lend a hand.
What families need to know when homelessness hits
No matter what disaster, parents who end up in a homeless situation need to know more than anyone is telling them:
- Where to go for help?
- What to expect from the helpers?
- Where to hang out during the day if staying at an overnight shelter?
- How to get your kids (back) into school?
- What to expect from the school?
- What to do about food if you don’t have a place to store it?
- How to avoid stepping on toes if staying with others?
- How to keep your kids safe?
- How to keep your kids from stressing out too much?
- What are your legal rights to camp?
- Where should you avoid if sleeping in your car?
Suggestions for these topics and more can be found in The Three Melissas — The Practical Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness.
Although written primarily for parents, the reaction from non-parents, educators, and those just curious about family homelessness has continued to be satisfying.
My upcoming presentations give me opportunities to share the wisdom of this book. Diana has been doing book talks, too. And I’m working on scheduling each of the 3 Melissas to take this book to another level. More on that next post. To say they’re all anxious to ramp it up is an understatement!
What the Melissas say
I asked the Melissas what this book meant to them as we commemorate the first anniversary of its publication. Here are their unedited remarks:
Melissa A:
The 3M book transformed my life by giving me a voice I’ve long lacked. Despite being always involved and vocal, I felt silenced in my struggles. Connecting with two other Melissas from different parts of the US created a meaningful bond, shared laughs, and memorable road trips. Meeting with publishers, advocates, school staff, and administrators expanded my opportunities. The funds from the program have helped me maintain my household. Thanks to Diane, and Diana Bowman, I’ve experienced doors I never would have accessed. I am deeply grateful 🥹 this journey is changing my life and will help others too.
OK, cool came straight off my head. I mean it’s the truth so it makes it very easy. Man, I sometimes reminisce and think like I would’ve been thriving if I went to college. I know I still can go. I know I know.
Melissa N:
The Three Melissas — The Practical Guide to Surviving Family Homelessness has allowed each of us to embrace our courage, to lend our voices, and to be a part of something bigger than ourselves. The 3Ms have become more than my teammates…they have become family to me. The kind that lifts you no matter how far you fall and loves you through it all. THIS is what we hope everyone who reads this book will discover and share within their circles, their schools, their agencies and above all else the children who are watching and listening to everything this world is bringing into their lives. The future isn’t ours…it’s theirs. If we don’t become the change they need to see, break cycles they didn’t cause, and build bridges leading to opportunities for better lives…that’s on us. Once we know better, we must DO and BE better. Thus, The Three Melissas and why we put ourselves, our stories, our experiences, and our lives into this project.
Melissa T:
What I was so incredibly impressed with, taken aback by, and again, so incredibly honored and humbled by was, & still is, the folks. And I’m talking about EVERYONE; from those that were there to watch, listen, ask, and buy a book, to the folks that set up venues, and volunteered to bring food & drink. To the reporters that wrote about us 3M’s, to coming out to listen to our stories, and then interview us afterwards, again, writing a much more robust story. It’s those journalists, those social workers, those unsung heroes that we call volunteers — it takes any & every one of those precious people to share our stories so that in a perfect world, homelessness period, will become extinct!
So to all you warriors that have taken on one hell of a fight aside us, THANK YOU! Thank you immensely, for giving us purpose, for something that not so long ago, kept us from having any purpose at all, let alone resembling finding one in anything homeless!
Second edition coming
My co-author Diana and I got together this past weekend to work on the 2nd Edition of our book. We both heartily agreed that now, more than ever, this book provides a vital service to families, schools, shelters, homelessness service agencies, and communities. Proceeds from book sales go to the 3 Melissas, not us.
Personally, this book has given me way more than I could have imagined. I’ve been in awe of these 3 moms, and more aware than ever of what it takes for parents, mostly mothers, to navigate the horrors of homelessness with their kids.
The 3 Melissas took us through the storm. But storms don’t just disappear. Another round eventually comes through as we’re witnessing with the massive federal budget cuts and other cruelty ravaging the most vulnerable. Time to be like the 3 Melissas!
For more stories about taking care of our children and each other during hard economic times, follow Fourth Wave. Have you got a story or poem that focuses on women or other targeted groups? Submit to the Wave!
