Romantic Love is a Con
Because Sex and Love are two different things
I had an intellectual friend in high school who “really loved” women, by which he meant he put them on a pedestal and periodically became obsessed with one. Later in life we got in touch via email to discuss a novel I had written and soon enough, I was the deified girl. He used software to “paint” pictures of me; wrote me long, entertaining emails; came to town and took me out to dinner and a ballgame. I thought we were having a friendship. He thought we were having a romantic relationship, even though I was married and had never flirted with him or made a declaration of love.
I should have known better. But being flattered is addictive. I’ve seen the same kind of bonding happen in platonic friendships, and I didn’t see the harm. Plus, he had a friend in the publishing industry who might like to publish my novel — that irresistible lure. But I finally got a clue about what he was thinking when he referred to the two of us in an email as Heloise and Abelard. I had to look up the reference. What I found was chilling. “‘Heloise and Abelard’ is one of history’s most passionate and romantic true love stories,” according to this site.
Here’s what the site — and most of recorded history, apparently — considers “passionate and romantic.” An intelligent young woman hooks up with her…
