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Seven Research-Backed Principles that Save Marriages and Relationships
The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by marriage expert John Gottman claims: “The emotionally intelligent husband is the next step in social evolution.”
He’s not necessarily sensitive and in touch with his feelings, but he knows “how to convey honor and respect” toward his spouse.
This doesn’t mean previous generations of husbands didn’t convey honor and respect to their wives, but they did it far differently because their wives’ expectations — and therefore their roles — were much different. My father was a provider, my mother a nurturer. When he returned from work, she didn’t expect him to help with cleaning, laundry, or cooking.
During my first month of marriage, I came home from work and sat down on the couch with the TV remote in hand, thinking my day was done. I was happy to perform some handyman task if asked, but I certainly didn’t jump up to fold laundry when my wife put the basket in front of me. If she wanted me to go grocery shopping with her, I went with little patience and some confusion: “I know I should go because she asked, but she can’t expect me to tolerate this longer than half an hour, right?”
