Some Women Helped Build The Cage Of Patriarchy
Men aren’t to blame for all our problems
I’ve written a few articles aimed at men. Especially regarding men using women as emotional punching bags. Or using women as tools for their emotional upliftment to the detriment of women. This article is taking a different spin.
Women have played a crucial role in building a patriarchal system
I want to spread my blame a little in this one. Because whenever I see an oppressive system abound, digging deeper I find the oppressed often have a role to play in the propagation of their maltreatment. Even if they’re unlikely to admit it.
Patriarchy is no different. Let’s take a closer look.
Many women will repeatedly take back an abusive partner into their life, even after they've spent years with him, and know for a fact he won’t change his sordid ways.
They will make all manner of excuses for his poor behaviour. Yet still wonder why on god’s earth he continues to act like a jerk. I’ll tell them why. Because she facilitates him, that’s why.
You see it’s easy as a feminist to blame men for all our problems under patriarchy. But It’s not all their fault. Yes I said it, women have a key part to play too.
It’s like some women are addicted to trauma, and emotional drama. It makes them feel alive somehow. To the ladies who allow ill treatment from men, thinking they can “love” him out of his foul ways, be a soft blanket to wrap his cold heart in, or tame his bad boy ways? Will you please stop?
This is pure madness, and it’s women like you that allow the widespread disrespect, and putdown of women everywhere.
You see it’s easy as a feminist to blame men for all our problems under patriarchy. But It’s not all their fault. Yes I said it, women have a key part to play too.
For example, someone in my own family openly announced that she’d be happy to be “submissive” to a man, as long as he treated her well. Treated her well?
WTF?
What is the mindset of a man who expects submission for simply being a decent human being? Most importantly why do some women allow men to do this to them? Can we please switch on our brains for a minute. I mean come on.
On my journey to mental liberation from the stronghold of patriarchy, I’ve often found other women to be stumbling blocks. Other women can be the fiercest judges of life choices.
Male-centered women are everywhere
A lot of women are so male-centered, marriage-focused, husband or boyfriend-oriented, or brainwashed with notions of coupledom, that any woman who states she can exist as a complete human being without a man in her life, is put down, aggressively questioned, or shunned.
It’s horrid that women will psychologically trample other women who state they want to rise in their feminine power outside of a man.
I mean, who doesn’t know the friend who always takes back her good-for-nothing boyfriend? The married woman who states her husband is a good man even though he repeatedly verbally abuses her? Or the girl who makes endless excuses for her scumbag partner?
What is the mindset of a man who expects submission for simply being a decent human being? Most importantly why do some women allow men to do this to them?
What about the woman who will openly state how much she hates her partner for doing X to her but believes one day he might change his ways?
Sorry, but I have to say some women are simply so stupid in their reasoning. I can't stand this. And if you think this is a little harsh, let me say I’ve been one of these stupid women.
I’ve done all manner of mental gymnastics in the past, making silly excuses for poor behaviour from men, and looking back, I’m ashamed of myself. I’m ashamed I didn’t see my worth, and step into my power to lay down boundaries or walk away earlier from no good unions.
A lot of women have self-esteem issues and traumas they have to unpack and work on. That way they will stand strong in not tolerating BS from men.
So rather than jump from man to man with the same unhealed issues and emotional weakness as ever, let them take a pause, heal their inner wounds, and move with more power and grace through life. Let’s stand in our power as women, rather than ever pointing the finger at men.
Let’s end the indoctrination
On my journey of single living, I’ve often been met with vehement opposition from other women. Who simply can’t understand my desire to navigate through life unhindered, and without a romantic partner.
They have been so indoctrinated into thinking that life without a romantic relationship is no life at all that my lifestyle unsettles them. They rush to advise me on how I need to settle down (another notion I hate) and how I “need” a man in my life.
The thought of a woman existing in this life without a man is foreign to some women and they are quick to turn their noses up at women who don’t march to popular cultural sanctions of relationships.
These women see being in a relationship as a prize of sorts. They will do anything to be girlfriend or wife, even in situations where their sanity, peace of mind, or self-esteem are being compromised constantly.
I’ll say it again: there are too many women holding up patriarchy, and forcing other women to conform to it. These women are so disempowered that a woman empowering herself outside of a relationship with a man becomes some sort of psychological threat.
These women see being in a relationship as a prize of sorts. They will do anything to be girlfriend or wife, even in situations where their sanity, peace of mind, or self-esteem are being compromised constantly.
I’m choosing to live a life I see fit for me. Frankly, unquestioning women who jump at the “opportunity” to submit, please, or cater to every whim of a man scare me.
As women, we can’t blame men for all our problems. We can’t be psychologically lazy and expect patriarchy to be fixed by men alone. Because men alone did not create it. Women had a hand to play, and it’s time we use those same hands to build empowered lives and refuse to be victims of poor treatment.
For more stories about the ways women uphold the patriarchy, follow Fourth Wave. Have you got a story or poem that focuses on women or other disempowered groups? Submit to the Wave!
