Stop Saying that Being Single Is Better Than Being in a Bad Relationship

That’s too generous to romantic relationships and too grudging to single people

Photo by Tolga Ulkan on Unsplash

I hear this all the time: “Being single is better than being in a bad relationship” (or a bad marriage). There are other versions, too, such as, “It is better to be single than to wish you were.” Sometimes I read those platitudes in the media and sometimes people say them to me, knowing that I am one who lives my single life fully, joyfully, and unapologetically.

I don’t like those sentiments and I wish people would stop expressing them.

My problem is not that I think the statements are inaccurate. It is true that being single is better than being in a bad relationship or a bad marriage. It is demonstrably true — research shows that. Actually, research shows more than that. Being single is even better than being in a romantic relationship that isn’t particularly bad. And look at this conclusion from the social scientists who conducted that research:

“…it appears that people who reported anything less than “strongly agreeing” that their relationship was high quality experienced more negative affect while around their partners than when separated from them.”