Sugar and Spice and All Things Nice: What are Women Made of?
Is it possible to create a definitive list of what ‘makes’ a woman?*
*Am I intending to be LGBTQ+ inclusive? Absolutely. If this bothers you, this is probably not the article for you.
Spoiler: it’s not as straightforward as it first appears (in fact, it seems impossible). That’s why I’m also asking questions of my readers, because I wish to listen and understand. I’m particularly keen to hear what trans women think about what makes them a woman.
In this short list, I’ve barely scratched the surface. Yet I see this article as more of a conversation starter than an answer. Therefore, is there anything that makes a woman uniquely a woman, besides having an XX chromosome (which I still don’t think is a satisfying criterion)?
Let’s start with a slightly more lighthearted example before I dive into the deeper, more complex, stuff:
1. The ‘weaker’ sex
I truly hope we’ve moved past the idea that women wear lipstick, have long hair, shave their legs, wear dresses, and are always smaller in stature than men. It’s simply not true.
The list could go on, but you get the idea. Of course, women can be/do all of those things (and men too, for that matter) yet women are women if they choose to be, no matter how they dress.
Women come in all shapes and sizes, from the Amazonian to the petite, and they may present as more masculine (masculinity is not ‘owned’ by men) or more feminine. This is all valid and unique to the individual because appearance alone does not determine gender.
Are there any gender stereotypes that you think haven’t gone away?
2. Abreast of the issue
While it’s true women have breasts, all men technically have breasts too. Men can develop breast cancer just as women do (although it’s much less common) and the label ‘breasts’ is not dependent on shape or size, or gender. It’s just that society has made the idea of breasts synonymous with being a woman when it’s actually more universal.
And people who’ve had mastectomies for medical or personal reasons shouldn’t be viewed as any less women if that’s how they wish to identify. Breasts, therefore, do not maketh a woman.
Of course, I also wouldn’t label anyone who’s undergone top surgery as a woman if they wish to identify otherwise. That’s their choice.
What are your thoughts on the idea that only women can breastfeed?
3. Period of doubt
Do all women have periods? No. Do all women even have a uterus? Again, no. Some women are born with underdeveloped or even missing reproductive organs. This does not mean they aren’t women.
Women eventually stop having periods during/following menopause, but they are still women. As are those who have had hysterectomies or sterilisation (whether elective or mandatory) unless they chose to identify otherwise.
Some trans men also still have periods. What are your thoughts?
4. Mind the gap
Following on from the period point, does having a vagina mean a person is automatically a woman? This seems unfair to trans men who may still have one, even though they don’t identify as a woman.
Undergoing a hysterectomy in any circumstances is a serious surgery that is not taken lightly, either by the patient or the surgeon. And sometimes the vagina needs to be retained for medical reasons, despite the person wanting full lower surgery so they can identify other than as a woman.
And, not wishing to be crude, but if I ever visit a public toilet labelled for women, I’ve never had to flash anyone to prove I’m in the correct place. Surely our anatomies only tell part of our stories, right?
Do you think having a vagina is a sufficient indicator that a person is a woman? Likewise, does a person having a penis mean they are a man?
This is a tricky subject that I’ve tried to handle as respectfully and inclusively as possible. It is part of a much wider debate that will probably be ongoing for quite some time, but I think it’s important that we discuss these topics openly so that we may gain new insights.
What, if anything, would you add to this list, and/or what would you interpret differently?
I like hearing readers’ opinions but please remember this should be considered a safe space for everyone. Therefore, hate speech or derogatory language will not be tolerated. Thank you for reading.
Rachel Palmąka Mace is a literary fiction and creative non-fiction writer, singer, artist, spoken word performer, lapsed academic, and feminist. She is the editor of the feminist-led magazine Subtle Sledgehammer and her new project ‘Around the World with 80 Women’ (AW80W) – which shares the narratives of women from Somalia to Scotland – will be published in the autumn of 2023.
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