Taliban Takes Heart in U.S. Control of Women
Religious zealots of the world (and their minions) unite to throw women under the bus
Meet Mawlawi Ziaurahman Asghari, Taliban spokesman and social media influencer. You can tell this guy is really sweet by the red roses and pink petunias scattered around his page on everybody’s favorite platform “X,” as in “X marks the spot where your freedom used to be.”
He has 10.2 thousand posts and 71.8 thousand followers — a true media personality. Every night he has a “twitter space” in which he talks about important issues like exactly how long God wants men’s beards to be and whether or not a woman’s elbow is a sexual part. God’s a real stickler when it comes to facial hair and sex. He wants a whole lot of one and not much of the other. That means God designed the clitoris — an organ with no function other than bringing sexual pleasure to women — as a kind of sick joke, I guess. I didn’t realize God was twisted like that!
I don’t want to be rude, but looking at the length of our sweet influencer’s beard, and comparing it to the length of his buddy’s beard in the upper left, I have to wonder: is he virtuous enough? If he was really a good person, his beard would be a little longer and bushier, don’t you think? But the Hitler dollop is cute and on point.
