The Cringey Claim, “My Spouse Won’t Let Me”
Why do married people say that — and seem proud to do so?
When I lived on the East Coast, I had a very smart friend I’ll call Carrie, who had a PhD and a faculty position at a prestigious university. She was married to a man I’ll call Tom, who was similarly credentialed and also was on the faculty of an esteemed university. I liked Carrie — and Tom. But there was something she said more than a few times that made me cringe and left me bewildered. In discussing something she may have liked to do, but wasn’t going to, she would say, “Tom won’t let me.” Even more cringey and befuddling, she seemed proud to say that.
I was thinking about that today when I read a profile in the Washington Post about Jim VandeHei, who was a White House reporter, then as a media entrepreneur, co-founded the influential publication Politico, then sold it for $525 million, and then co-founded Axios. Jim, we are told, loves exercise, especially hot yoga at CorePower Yoga. He thought about becoming an instructor and asked his wife Autumn what she thought. Here’s what we learn:
“(VandeHei recently asked Autumn how she’d feel about him becoming a CorePower instructor. She rejected the idea. “I have to draw the line,” she says.)”
