Why Must I Fight To Be Me?
Stream of consciousness reflective writing on patriarchy and modern womanhood
I’ve made it through another day. I’m still wilted in my soul. Because existing as a woman in this male-dominated world is all manner of exhausting. It helps that I’ve been nourished by low-friction female company today.
I feel I loosen the societal push and my need to perform amongst empowered female company. Because sometimes I don’t want to fight my true nature. I’ve noticed that women are more relaxed and genuine when devoid of male attention. Also when they are not mentally focused on the male experience or concerned about being “checked out” by men.
I feel I could itch my raw heart, when I think of all the ways I must pretend not to be me, to “thrive” in this patriarchal system. Why do I even have to exist in a world where I have to be a strong woman? Where I have to prove myself to men and other women?
Patriarchy has run so deep into the collective veins of the world, that it has made this world unbearable for some women. The most shocking thing is that many women don’t even know the world is unbearable. Many are numb to the despondency and unbearability of it all.
At the core of my heart, I desperately want to change things for the better. I want to protest, sign letters, educate the masses and do other activist-type work. But I’m exhausted by the thought of it all.
Some days I think about how cosy it would be to dance with patriarchy. To close my eyes, shut my soul, and be okay with the subjugation and oppression of women in subtle and not-so-subtle ways.
But I can’t do this. My soul will not let me. The warrior women of history whose blood still flows through my veins won’t allow me. I can’t live this passive life, being okay with being less than other humans.
So for today, I lay my head down softly, re-gather my mental and literary forces, and once again pen a new and more powerful tomorrow story.
Related writing:
For more stories of particular interest to women, follow Fourth Wave. Have you got a story or poem that focuses on women or other disempowered groups? Submit to the Wave!
