How I Overcame My Insecurity
Fear is mere imagination, So why should we fear when it is uncertain? When it is just an illusion or a least possibility!
There’s always some untold story that keeps holding us back, no matter how much we try to escape. Today I want you guys to know how and what would be different in my story, and I hope it would help positively and would be effective.
Once or twice we all might have thought, there’s no going back, there’s no solution, or there’s no one who could do anything about this. And this is what we call ‘Insecurity’.
Insecurity makes us feel less worthy; it eats up self-esteem and makes us lose self-confidence to a point where one would be totally dependent. When in a relationship and we feel the sense of insecurity, one of the common reasons people find behind it is the trust issue. But no, trust issues always are not the reason to have insecurity. Insecurity is built in mind, because of the assumptions, lack of self-esteem, and the most important is the fear of losing that person. When a person doesn’t feel the sense of belongingness even after being loved by a person they wanted to feel loved, or feel alone when they are around with everyone else.
Many times I felt like why do I even feel this if there is nothing I am scared of losing?
And my mind strikes me so hard by not answering any of these questions and making me feel so not right and meaningless.
There’s always this feeling of I want to know what the person might be doing and keep checking on him, and after all day of stupid stuff I do, I feel bad, guilty with a lot of regret of why do I keep repeating this things day after day. And it doesn’t matter how much I try to convince myself that what I do is wrong; I do the same the next day.
Things I learned to overcome the feeling of insecurity
1. Always keep yourself busy.
The best way to get rid of the thought is to keep yourself busy, even when things seem pretty cool, you shouldn’t just let it go. You must keep doing one thing or the other. When we sit idle, doing nothing, our mind has the capacity and power to attract those things which we want to avoid, and it will come even before you search for anything good or ways to stop it. So why not always have someone to talk to, or have someone to hang out, or play games, or even when you sitting idle do it with your family, friends and even pets. This way, you would avoid having your head messed up.
2. Trust yourself
‘Believe in yourself’, everyone says it right but doesn’t go so easy, especially for those people who face strange, weird things in life. Whenever anything strikes my mind, I used to keep repeating the words, “I know what I am doing, and everything is cool” commanding my mind to stop hitting me with wrong thoughts and understand that I am fine, just let certain things go because there are things in life which we shouldn’t control and some which should be in control. The choice between the two should be correct.
3. Kill the negative vibe
Just like wrongdoing are punished, the negative vibe is also meant to be killed. When any thought strikes my mind, I used to sit calmly with my eyes closed and search for answers to these questions like what am I thinking? And why? Why this thought? Is it worth thinking? But when I actually start to do this, my mind goes blank, and for some time I couldn’t even feel anything. Something interesting does happen, and that is somehow I start to feel better as if I found a way out of this and after repeating this for months now, I know I can beat this feeling and be fine. It resembles meditation.
4. Pour your heart out.
This is the best therapy I have got, and my mom is the best listener, she can understand me in a way no one else can. This feeling was difficult to express and even more because it’s mom, and no matter how cool she is, I am her child, right! I explained everything about my pain and what I am going through. No doubt she taunted me at first but then talked about her experiences and told me ways to get through this. I’m not saying that you should discuss the issue with your mom, that can be anyone who would never be your weakness in any situation be it a friend, cousin, pet or diary
5. Don’t Overthink
You need to accept people as they are and stop thinking over and over again. Don’t go deep into any topic which you know would hurt you. Overthinking ruins everything, it’s not always wrong, overthinking is a weakness no doubt but how you turn that into your strength that matters. When faced with thoughts over thoughts, I converted it towards a positive one, at first it was difficult, but then it was like training that I was going through with each day pass by, which makes me feel good.
Overthinking about work, inventing something or deep diving into psychology is of great sense because if no one has thought so much, there wouldn’t have been electric bulbs, computers or any gadgets that we call smart or trending today. So try to find good in everything and if your mind takes you on a wrong track, tell him you’re in my control, I am not in your control.
As the famous saying goes, ‘Only you can change your life, No one can do it for you’. It is true because you are the one who can change how you want to feel about anything.
Make the change for you and for the person you love. Not because you are wrong but because the thing you are facing is wrong, it will mess with your mind and would make you a person which you will regret ever. And trust me, if you have loved them enough, it would be a great motivation to get over your insecurities and fall back on your track. Because no matter how much we try to escape it will always follow us, so don’t run, but instead face it and prove your love, your trust, your sincerity towards something.
Oh my dear, we are humans, and we all have flaws, but it doesn’t mean we have to keep it hurting us. Therefore, we have to make amends no matter how much we have to go through then because in the end, it all will be worth it.
