I don’t remember the exact date when I met him and I certainly never expected that meeting would change my vision of life. At the time he was around 10 and smaller than me.
I just started working as a Special Needs teacher and didn’t know all of the ins and out of Autism I was learning.
What I discovered was a huge misunderstanding between the general population and how people suffering from Autism behave.
The first thing that should be set is that it is a spectrum, it doesn’t affect everyone the same way. You might not even know it but maybe your neighbour could have it. Autism is not defined by specific behaviours, each person is different a bit like your physical appearance. None of us look the same unless we have twins, this applies for autism also.
Working with Manaf opened a door to a world that I didn’t know. His world was different, simple but also complicated from one moment to another something could have happened and he could switch his moods from one extreme to another one: from being happy and laughing to distressed and angry or vice versa.
The thing they don’t tell you is that the school setting is different from home and a child can change completely from one place to another. They tell you also is that every disturbing behaviour should be blamed on the spectrum when actually I don’t think so.
Seeing Manaf in his family setting made me realise that he was just another child: cheeky, happy and of course in need of attention. None of his arm pulling or coming close to your face was linked to autism: it was just him asking you to look at him and play with him, like every other child.
With time, I learnt to see his warning signs, to step away when required but also when to step in when he was doing it on purpose. Of course there are moments that cannot be predicted and that can be quite challenging but there are also moments of pure happiness: when he recognises you, when he comes to you to play with you or simply when he is happy.
That’s the precise moment I realised I wanted to help all the Manaf I could, to put a smile on their faces and to protect them from the uneducated people.
Someone described autism as being in a dark room all day long. I don’t remember who said it but that is one of the best descriptions I found so far. Imagine yourself in the dark in your world and someone comes to you unexpectedly of course you would react in a certain way. Now imagine you see the other person and go to her then, of course, your behaviour would be different. People need to remember that anything can trigger distress and spending times with people suffering from autism will make clear what could be these triggers and then living around it would make your life and their lives happier.
Someone described autism as being in a dark room all day long and this is so far the best description I found. Imagine yourself in that dark room then maybe you’ll be able to understand their world.
Manaf is taller than me now and I haven’t seen him for almost a year. I don’t know if he’ll recognise me but I, for sure, will always see him and his baby face looking like the prince of Egypt.
Something that started as a part-time job ended up defining my life. I cannot look away anymore. I get furious when I see the maltreatment and the lack of knowledge without mentioning the unwillingness carers can show.
One of my friends had her child diagnosed with it and her mom was blaming her but surely if she had done her research she would have known that nothing can predict autism, the brain just doesn’t develop — science hasn’t yet found why, unfortunately.
Autism can happen to anyone and it is not the end of your world it is just a difference whether you accept it and live around it, it is up to you. You can be a victim of it which I understand after all or a warrior but one thing is sure and you need to remember it: it is when your child looks at you in the eyes and recognises who you are and smiles at you that all the troubles and challenging behaviours vanish in a second and that, that is gold.
Today is world autism awareness day and I am wearing blue for you. I hope you are well Manaf and you are enjoying your days. I also hope that you are kind and still playing with your sisters making Mama and Baba happy. I hope to see you soon little prince.
