What If We Treated Cars Like Guns? (Or, an Open Letter to the President from a Parallel Universe)

In a parallel universe, our Founding Fathers ratified the Second Amendment of the US Constitution, which enshrines the God-given right that “… the right to keep and use personal transportation shall not be infringed.” Nearly 240 years later, a Second Amendment activist writes an open letter to the President…
President Obama,
Our rights, as enshrined by the Constitution of the United States, are under attack. On a near-daily basis, you and the liberal media emphasize the harm caused by drunk drivers. Were we to believe the liberal press, one would conclude that Americans are dying at disproportionate numbers relative to the rest of the world because of our so-called car epidemic. You say that there need to be “reasonable controls” on the sale and ownership of cars, whatever that means. As a law-abiding citizen, I resent the fact that you and your allies militate on our right to drive cars. Mr. President, the right to drive cars shall not be infringed!
I’ve had ample time to review your side’s car control proposals, and I hope to to illustrate how attempts to restrict the right to drive cars will only hurt, not help, our country:
First, a requirement for drivers licenses will not keep bad drivers from getting behind a steering wheel. The only effect that this will have is that law-abiding citizens will find it harder to drive, while criminals and drunk drivers will still find themselves in the driver seat. If a person wants to commit vehicular manslaughter, they’ll find a way to do so regardless of what the law says. Rather than enforce the traffic laws already in the books, you’d have us believe that more laws that infringe on our rights are necessary. To think that regulating the ownership and use of cars will have ANY effect on vehicle-related deaths is a fantasy.
Second, the right to drive cars ensures that Americans are able to move freely were a tyrannical government to take place. History is full of examples of how regimes have restricted the rights of citizens to travel freely. I, and many car owners, have no doubt that the creation of a central registry of all drivers would only enable a tyrannical government to track down and confiscate every car in the United States. Think about it: if we implemented a Department of Motor Vehicles, a tyrant could exploit such an organization to swiftly and efficiently deprive every citizen of their car.
Third, and most importantly, the right to drive cars is enshrined in our Constitution. You claim to be a constitutional scholar, yet you fail to learn the lessons of history. The Founding Fathers, in their absolute genius, created a document that, to this day, stands the test of time; to seek to change it would be an absolute mistake. Yes, throughout our history, we’ve had to amend it. Even our right to drive cars was an amendment, as well as the abolition of slavery, women’s suffrage, and a variety of other amendments. But still, 27 amendments in on a document written nearly 240 years ago says something magnificent about the foresight of our forefathers.
If you continue along this terrible path, history will judge you as the leader of a despotic regime that eviscerated one of our core rights as Americans. Restricting in ANY way the right of Americans to drive cars will not have the desired effect, and will only serve to erode our freedoms. On behalf of all freedom-loving Americans, cease and desist in your militancy towards Americans’ right to drive cars!