Why Being Kind to Yourself Matters
The role of self-compassion in a growth mindset
A few decades ago, my best friend called to tell me something he was too ashamed to share with anyone else.
“What’s going on?” I asked him.
He paused a beat.
“I went to jail last night.”
“Say what?” I interjected. The shock of that statement made me wonder whether those words had actually come out of his mouth.
“I got arrested for DUI. The cop saw me hit the curb and pulled me over. It was a great night…until then. I was on my way home.”
He had called another friend to bail him out.
I listened to the whole sordid story. I imagined what he must have felt like as the event unfolded. When he was done, I assured him that everybody makes mistakes and tomorrow was a new day to start afresh.
One thing that made the whole thing worse was this: my friend wanted to go to law school. This would be an uphill battle. First, he earned his degree in agricultural engineering — not exactly a straight path to practice law. Second, the DUI threatened to close an already half-shut door the rest of the way.
He asked me to write a letter vouching for his character and fitness to study law.
