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9 Times Shakespeare Got it Wrong, According to Parents

Anna Jadow
Frazzled
Published in
2 min readApr 26, 2022

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Photo by Max Muselmann on Unsplash
  1. CAREERS

Shakespeare: We know what we are, but not what we may be.

Parents: I know for sure that no child of mine is going to be a professional video game player. Hard stop.

2. HANGOUTS

Shakespeare: I like this place and could willingly waste my time in it.

Parents: I just wasted two hours of my life and $80 of my hard-earned money “winning” a plastic kazoo at the arcade.

3. DECORATIONS

Shakespeare: All that Glitters is not gold.

Parents: Shhh…we do not utter the G-word.

4. SLEEP

Shakespeare: Good night, good night! Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Parents: No, you cannot have more water…I have no idea what color giraffes’ balls are…You can’t sleep in my bed…Yes, spiders have ears. I just know, that’s how. Go to sleep!!!!

5. SELF-AWARENESS

Shakespeare: This above all: to thine own self be true/And it must follow, as the night the day/Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Parents: I know I said you couldn’t have the iPad, but I didn’t realize that would actually be a punishment for me. Please take it and play quietly for just…

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Anna Jadow
Anna Jadow

Written by Anna Jadow

Unpaid intern (mom). Words in McSweeney's, HuffPost, Slackjaw, The Belladonna, Little Old Lady Comedy, MuddyUm, Frazzled...

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