Parenting Humor

A Call for Conference Presentations: “Why Won’t You Eat Your Dinner?”

Photo by Madie Hamilton on Unsplash

Conference Title: “Why Won’t You Eat Your Dinner?”

Venue: Your home (but, yes, you have to fly there and, no, there isn’t any financial support)

The committee in charge of dinner invites presentations addressing the topic of dinner and what’s wrong with it this time. We welcome a diversity of perspectives while at the same time limiting those perspectives to the absolute loudest kid in the house.

We especially welcome considerations of:

• Why you hate that food you liked last week
• What you mean by “feels weird in my mouth”
• Why carrots are gross
• Which friend has better dinners than you
• Why you think bread counts as a meal
• Why you won’t eat foods that are brown
• Why you will only eat foods that are brown
• How “we have that all the time” could apply to something you’ve only had once
• Why boxed or canned food tastes better than that same food lovingly made from scratch
• How carrots look like fingers
• Why it makes perfect sense that French fries are awesome but…