Advice Your Kids Will Ignore
A Letter to My Daughter That She’ll Never Read Because It’s Not a Text
My darling daughter:
‘Sup?
I know you’re never going to read this letter because, for one thing, I still write in cursive like a normal person, even though you think it means I should’ve died of the Plague in 1600's London, along with Shakespeare and Ernest Hemingway, who for some reason you think are contemporaries.
They don’t even teach history in school anymore because you can just Google it. You kids have no idea how easy you have it. Try researching a project about Jimmy Carter with an Encyclopedia Britannica from 1973 that somebody used as a coloring book.
The other reason you’ll never read this is because a letter isn’t a text, which is 💯, and letters are 😴.
Anyway, I’m just trying to pass down a little wisdom and I hope you remember even 20% of it when you’re my age.
You might regret your hair color, but you’ll never regret advice from your mom.
Never Ride In Cars With Boys. Or Girls. Or anyone.
The only thing that comes from riding around having fun with your friends is marriage and babies, not necessarily in that order.
