Advice I Wish I’d Gotten Before Becoming the Antichrist’s Mommy
The days are long, but the years until Baby’s ascension are short
When that mysterious old woman told me I was pregnant, I went out and bought every parenting book I could find, determined to be a Pinterest-worthy perfect Mommy. But as soon as I held my my precious one and gazed into the blazing yellow orbs of his eyes for the first time, I knew he was different. Unique. The embodiment of evil, child of Lucifer, disguised as an angel of light. I realized I’d probably have to throw most of what I’d read out the window. (Just like my darling son did to our priest, haha!) Even though some days are a struggle, it’s all worth it to be of service to my Overlord. But here are a few tidbits I wish someone had told me sooner:
Don’t Worry If You Don’t Bond Right Away
Even though you spawned him, it might take a while to get used to the way he stares at you, the way he commands wild animals, the way you keep having dreams about boiling oceans of blood. Give yourselves both some time. You’ll eventually adjust to your new role as his valued servant!
