Are You Experiencing Holden Caulfield’s Existential Angst…Or Just A Day With A Toddler During a Pandemic?
1. Something that annoys the hell out of me: if somebody says the coffee’s all ready, but isn’t.
2. I don’t know exactly what I mean by that, but I mean it.
3. The goddamn movies, they can ruin you, I’m not kidding.
4. Mothers are all slightly insane.
5. I had to sit there and listen to that crap. It certainly was a dirty trick.
6. That’s the whole trouble. You can’t ever find a place that’s nice and peaceful, because there isn’t any.
7. If somebody at least listens it’s not too bad.
8. Boy was she wide-awake. It only takes her about two seconds to get wide-awake.
9. It’s not too bad when the sun’s out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out.
10. Boy you have to watch her every minute. If you don’t think she’s smart, you’re mad.
11. Then something terrible happened just as I got in the park.
12. Thousands of little kids, and nobody’s around…nobody big, I mean…except me.
13. Then, I took out our door key and opened our door, quiet as hell.
14. Then, very very carefully and all, I went inside and closed the door. I really should have been a crook.
15. She wouldn’t come out, though. You can’t even reason with her sometimes.
16. The coffee made my stomach feel a little better, but I still had this awful headache.
17. Then she hit me on the leg with her fist. She gets very fisty when she feels like it.
18. God I love it when a kid’s nice and polite…
19. Game, my ass. Some game.
20. I didn’t CARE, it’s just that it’s pretty disgusting to watch somebody pick their nose.
21. I was beginning to sort of hate him.
22. What I really felt like though, was committing suicide.
23. Anyway, I’m sort of glad they’ve got the atomic bomb invented. If there’s ever another war, I’m going to sit right the hell on top of it. I’ll volunteer for it, I swear to God I will.
Holden Caulfield’s existential angst: 1–23
Day with a toddler in a pandemic: 1–23
