Parenting | Humor

As Your Child, Here’s a List of Things I’ll Be Asking if You Kept

I gave it to you for safekeeping, and now I want it back!

Photo by Dan Cristian Pădureț on Unsplash

A sheet of paper with one green line on it

A cherry blossom from 4 weeks ago

The apple slices from yesterday with 2 bites taken out

The googly eye from something

A page from an activity book with a completed maze

All 173 seeds from the red pepper we sliced open

A one-inch piece of purple yarn

A crushed cardboard tube from a roll of toilet paper

The box from a toy I received last Christmas

16 rocks

The room-temperature cup of chocolate milk from this morning

A broken pink crayon where neither piece can be held

The ice cream cone I asked you to hold 90 minutes ago

A dried-out yellow marker

Something unrecognizable the family dog chewed

A penny, but not that one. My penny.

“Bawerberrew”’ (indistinguishable gibberish)