Humor | Satire
Can You Do Parent Math?
Even calculus can’t prepare you for this
Algebra, geometry, and even calculus can’t prepare you for the real math skills you need as a parent. Parent Math is the kind that only experience can teach you.
See how your Parent Math skills add up by trying to answer these word problems.
- Your 10-year-old has 5 friends over for a birthday party that includes dinner. If she normally eats 2 meatballs and 3 ounces of spaghetti, how many meatballs and how much spaghetti should you make for the party? Keep in mind that one friend is gluten-free, one only eats white foods, and the twins are vegan.
Answer: 2 pounds of gluten-free pasta with vegan butter, which all the kids will eat while shouting, “Eww, I’m not eating meatBALLS!”
Logic might have told you to make 8 regular meatballs, 4 vegan meatballs, and 18 ounces of brown rice pasta — 3 without any tomato sauce. Logic does not work in this scenario and is, therefore, wrong.
But you could also consider saving yourself a lot of hassle by just buying a dozen cupcakes instead.
2. It’s a Thursday afternoon, and you’re putting the baby down for a nap at 2 p.m. He usually sleeps for 1.5 hours. How long of a nap can you take while your baby…
