Humor | Satire
College Dorm Essentials You Unwisely “Forgot,” You Cheap Idiot
How can you possibly expect them to succeed without these?
Remember when you went to college and decorated your dorm room with a printed “tapestry” and Absolut Vodka ads ripped out of magazines?
Well, guess what? Vague cultural appropriation and glamorizing alcohol consumption using unrecycled printed paper are no longer acceptable interior design styles. And it’s not just because college students don’t read magazines.
The experts — designers, Walmart, and the American Association of Overly Anxious Parents — have realized that college students need more! Much, much more!
Dorm rooms aren’t just rooms to sleep in. They are mini studio apartments that should look suitable at all times for a photo shoot by either PBTeen or Architectural Digest.
In case no one told you, it was your job to convert that rectangular cement-block igloo into a cozy retreat for your offspring.
And you failed!
You didn’t really think your kid could just sleep on that Twin XL mattress with only sheets and a comforter, did you?
