Cool Names for Bad Parenting

Which bad parent are you?

Photo by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

There are many cool names for bad parenting styles and they all sound dangerous!

Here’s a handy guide for pinpointing just what kind of bad parent you are.

Remember that bad parenting styles can change over time, so print this out and put it on the fridge to remind yourself how many different ways you can fuck up parenting your child.

Science has proven that every time you cringe in shame, you burn five calories!

1. Snowplow parenting is exactly what it sounds like. The parent acts as a snowplow, removing all difficulties and obstacles from a child’s path so they grow up to be annoying whiners who think that things should always go their way. This style of parenting is also called lawnmower parenting or bulldozer parenting, both of which sound much more dangerous, and therefore, way more cool.
2. Snowplow parenting shouldn’t be confused with the classic bad parenting style, helicopter parenting. Helicopter parenting is characterized by parents who constantly hover over their children and take an excessive interest in their lives. To change things up and sound like less of a control freak who has no life outside of their kids, tell your friends this is actually called hummingbird parenting. See, isn’t that nice?