Parenting Humor
Dad Tries to Get Teenager’s Attention in a Totally Cool and Definitely Not Obnoxious Way
What’s the tea on Tori?
What up, my dudes? It’s me, your totally cool dad, here to shoot the stuff. Curse words are so last decade, am I right?
So what’s the what? What’s the tea? Who’s dating who?
I’ve been with this hot chick for, like, twenty years or something. Rad, right?
Well, yeah, it is your mom! lol. How did you know?
So, anyway, I was just checking in to see if you have any more homework left to do? I know you like to wait till the last minute to do everything.
OMG, something we have in common!
Hey, as long as we’re talking about stuff, I heard Tori was being totally mean to Savannah last week. Did you hear that? What’s up with that?
How did I hear? Girl, I hear everything.
You know me, I’ve got my ear to the ground and my eyes to the stars.
Ok, yeah. That was pretty dumb. I’ll give you that.
Groan, Dad! Groan!
Haha.
Ugh. Anyway, teenagers can be so mean to each other. I don’t even get it.
It’s like this one TikTok I watched…
What’s that? You don’t want to talk about it right now?
I get it.
I’ve been there. BELIEVE ME.
So, anyway, what was the deal with Tori? Is she like the number one bee or what?
Yeah, you’re right. We shouldn’t gossip about things.
It’s like that one time I overheard my boss yelling on the phone that he was going to fire half the staff just because he could and I told everyone and, like, thirty people quit.
He was so mad at me.
You see how that’s basically the same, right?
It’s not? Ok, well how is it not?
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
Right.
Oh, yeah. You’re totally right. What Tori said to Savannah is definitely not the same as what happened to me at work.
So, do you think I should text Tori’s mom? I mean, your mom and I have been friends with her since you guys were in the second grade together, so it’s probably totally fine, right?
All of your friends will hate you? Nah, I think you’ll be fine. Who wants to be friends with Tori, anyway?
…
Seriously?
Seriously.
You want to still be friends with Tori after all of that?
But what about Savannah?
…
Oh, I don’t understand.
Yeah, you’re right. I have never dealt with bullies.
Let me tell you, this one time at work, my boss was so…
Yeah, you’re right. I probably should quit.
But I can’t because if I quit then I’d have to start all over with a new group.
Yeah, I know. You’d have to find a new teenage group to hang out with just like I’d need to find a new adult group to hang out with.
See? We’re not all that different! We both have people in our lives that are difficult to deal with.
I’m telling ya, sometimes I wish I was in your shoes because it seems so much simpler. Not to say that being a teen is easy. I totally know it’s not.
It’s so hard though, being an adult.
I mean, I don't even know what I would say to my boss. Especially since he’s Tori’s dad.
Alright, well, I guess I’ll let you get back to it.
Don’t forget about that homework!
Good talk.
Love ya!
