Humor | Parenting
Daycare Snow Day Workout Plan
Make daunting chores fun and entertain your kids while you work out
by Nathan J. DiPerri
Medical disclaimer absolving me of responsibility for choices that you make entirely on your own: This is not a real workout and is meant to be humorous. I’ve been training for over 20 years and when I take my kids out in the snow, I entertain myself (and them) by incorporating something of a workout into our snow-day play. Their safety (and enjoyment) takes priority.
With that out of the way, let’s get right to it!
WARM-UP: SHOVELING
Time: TBD
Shovel the driveway and any necessary sidewalks, walkways, decks, and hydrants. Focus on breathing and patience on each rep. Rest whenever needed. Your warm-up may take hours and is not finished until the job is finished. Once you have completed your warm-up, proceed to the first exercise.
PRESCHOOL SLED CURLS
Weight: 25–45 lbs.
Sets and Reps: TBD
As you walk forward and curl the weight, focus on contracting the bicep and keep the motion smooth lest you hear crying or complaining from your passenger. Change arms when you reach failure and repeat until you can no longer curl. Continue walking and pulling the sled until you can curl again or until your preschooler (or toddler) loses interest (whichever comes first).
PRESCHOOL SQUATS AND PUSHOUTS
Weight: 25–45 lbs.
Sets and Reps: TBD
Holding your preschooler securely under the arms, squat down at or below ninety degrees. Explode up to your toes and press your preschooler away from your chest at the top of the movement. Control the motion and fight the resistance as you bring the preschooler back toward your body and return to a squat position. [NOTE: Plyo pushouts are not recommended for this exercise! ] Repeat until MECHANICAL FAILURE (ability to ensure proper form for safety). If preschooler requests more, rest for a second or two and resume, ensuring perfect form. When you can’t safely do anymore or your preschooler loses interest, proceed to the next exercise.
INFANT SLED CURLS
Weight: 15–25 lbs.
Sets and Reps: TBD
Ready for another round of sled curls? It’s getting late in the workout so this time, drop the weight down. As you walk forward and curl the weight, focus on contracting the bicep and keep the motion smooth lest you hear crying from your passenger. Change arms when you reach failure and repeat until you can no longer curl. Continue walking and pulling the sled until you are able to curl again or until your infant doth protest too much.
INFANT SLED SPRINTS
Weight: 15–25 lbs.
Sets: TBD
This one’s pretty self-explanatory. Hold the sled and run. Alternate between running forward, looking over your shoulder, and running backward to ensure your passenger’s safety. Pace yourself so that your cargo has a smooth ride… and so that you have the stamina to make the ride last longer than 15 seconds. Transition to walking as necessary but don’t stop pulling the sled. Continue until you can no longer walk or until your infant has reached their threshold.
COOL DOWN: RESTING SNOW ANGELS
Sets: TBD
It’s been an intense workout and now it’s time for some well-deserved rest. Nobody will notice (hopefully) if you’re just lying there while everyone else makes snow angels. If you are called out, do a snow angel for one rep. Say “Mommy’s tired” or “Daddy’s tired” for as many reps as needed for the kids to stop harassing you.
If this is not where your workout ends and you’re required (or for some reason want) another round of the complete circuit, by all means, repeat!
© Nathan J. DiPerri. All Rights Reserved.
For more Nathan J. DiPerri illustrations please visit his website or follow on Instagram.
