Face-Palming Conversations With Your Children
How parenting strips you of your sanity
Child: Is there a college that people can go to for plants?
Mom: To learn how to plant things? Yes. It’s called ‘Botany’.
Child: Not to plant things. But like, if you want to be a plant?
Mom: No. There’s not a college for if you want to be a plant.
Child: Awww, but I want to be a plant!
Mom: [Palms face and silently weeps]
Child: [Shivering, wearing shorts] I wish they made jackets for your legs!
Mom: Those are called ‘pants’.
Child: What do you mean?
Mom: [Rolls eyes, palms face, and whispers a prayer]
Child: If the skin color ‘white’ is white, and the skin color ‘black’ is black, then is bi-racial ‘gray’?
Dad:
Child: Dad?
Dad: It’s time for bed.
Child: How do rocks grow?
Mom: What do you think?
Child: [Shrugs shoulders]
Mom: Rocks don’t grow; they are just pieces of the mountains that broke off.
Child: Mmmm… I don’t think so. If they don’t grow, then what are rock gardens for?
Mom: [Stares blankly into space, then palms face]
