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Fun Baby Activity Ideas, Developed by an Actual Baby
“When I say this game slaps, I really mean that literally”
Parents! PARENTS? PAAAAAAARENTS. HI. Forget that market research you’ve read about how to appeal to my demographic. I’m IN that demographic, and I’m telling you this is how it should be done. Hey! Pay attention to me. Eye contact at all times! Do you need me to pull out the slime-covered fist? Because I will, just as soon as I finish chewing and drooling on it.
Howl unintelligible affirmations at every dog that passes by
This can be done from a street-facing window, but is best performed on the porch or in the stroller. Those doggies need to know that we love them and support them, and what better way to foster a connection than to scream a long list of babbling sounds at a decibel level and pitch specially formulated just for dogs to hear? If the doggy owners are gullible enough and don’t have babies of their own, they might just stop long enough to let you pet them. Suckers! GRAB A FISTFUL OF FUR and don’t let go. Grin gleefully as your parent apologizes profusely to the owner of the offended dog. Quietly slurp some newly acquired dog hair and stuff the rest under your bib for a snack later.
