Humor | Satire | Parenting
How Did I Spend My Summer Vacation? I Got to Watch My Mother Look at Hydrangeas!
Thanks so much for asking
Hey new teacher who I am not going to like, why do we have to answer this stupid question every year? What did I do on my summer vacation?
Well, if you insist on asking, get ready for a bunch of lies. I am going to make stuff up because the truth is I mostly got stuck pulling on my mother’s arm every time she stopped to look at hydrangeas.
I’m eight, so I should have no idea what these big stupid flowers are called. But I do. And if I write the truth you are going to be as bored as I was.
Nobody with these flowers could mind their business. Everyone was out in their yards, talking about their flowers. Who cares? I just wanted to walk way ahead of my mother to the pool and get there before that kid who drops his sandwich in. Every. Single. Day. The lifeguards fall for it every time. They whistle and yell at us to get out to make sure it’s not crap.
But he always beat me.
You know why?
Because of those dumb flowers.
She took more pictures of them than she took of me this summer. I had to pose in them too. I had to stand and…
