Humor
I Took My Toddler’s Hands Hostage
She made it weird
“Let’s pay,” I said to my two-year-old daughter as I took her hand.
She skipped along beside me through the small gift store towards the desk in the corner.
“Whores,” she called out, pointing to a large painting of a horse on the wall.
The family scouring through trinkets had finally stopped staring each time she called out “whores”, which was a lot. We were visiting a horse sanctuary and after petting a bunch of whores, we went into the whore gift store to buy another cuddly, stuffed whore to add to our growing collection of whores at home.
One can never have enough whores.
When we reached the checkout desk, I asked my daughter to hand her toy to the lady. She did so politely and waited patiently while I spread the large cost of the incredibly small toy between three credit cards.
Once my bank account had been emptied, the lady slid the whore into a bag and handed it to my daughter.
“Say thank you,” I reminded her.
“T’you,” she said as she smiled at the lady.
Then she extended her hand.
Oh, sweet cries of hell. Not this.
