Humor | Satire
I’m a Regular Guy Who’s Sick of Being Villainized for My Secret Second Family
This has all just been really hard on me, ok?
You might not want to hear this right now, but lying about having a second family for over a decade doesn’t make me a bad person.
Sure, I expected everyone to be temporarily miffed with me, especially my wife, but I certainly didn’t expect my adult children to cut me off. I thought my son would have at least high-fived me or something. I see I was correct in my initial assumption that my first family just wasn’t understanding or mature enough to hear the truth.
All of my decisions have been made out of love. I loved my second family too much to abandon them, and I loved my first family too much to be honest with them until I got caught. I mean, I have enough love in my heart for two whole families. No one will give me credit for that?
How was I supposed to know a pregnancy would result from having unprotected sex? I suppose you think I should’ve worn condoms? I’m a CFA, for God’s sake. I can’t be expected to debase myself like that.
It’s important to remember that I would’ve been spending the same amount of time away from my family anyway if I’d had a real hobby like golf or woodworking or…
