Humor | Satire
I’m the High School Football Game You’re Now Obligated to Attend Because You Have a Tween
I’ll make a fan out of you
Hey, there. I see you.
Yeah, you. That allegedly functioning adult member of American society who doesn’t care about football — pro, college, or otherwise. I take that to mean you definitely couldn’t give a flying fig about me, local high school football.
Well, guess what? That’s about to change!
Yep — your kid is now a middle schooler and thus obsessed with attending me. Forget the fact that he doesn’t personally know anyone playing in this game.
My home games are now the place to be on Friday night. Hah, trust me, if you’re a pre-teen, you do not want to walk into social studies class on a Monday morning without being able to say you were there to witness the team’s big win.
It would seem your Friday evenings for the foreseeable future will be devoted to me. I look forward to our burgeoning friendship.
I realize you don’t want to go. You didn’t like attending high school football games when you were in high school, so I don’t imagine you’ve grown more enamored now that you’re knocking on the door of forty.
