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Humor | Satire | Parenting

Let the Battle of Day Camp Registration Commence!

Only the prepared will emerge victorious

Caroline Horwitz
Frazzled
Published in
3 min readMar 28, 2024

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Group of children outdoors pulling end of rope together in game of tug-of-war.
Photo by Anna Samoylova on Unsplash

Do some squats, apply grease paint strips under your eyes, and recite Henry V’s St. Crispin’s Day speech to yourself — it’s the morning of summer day camp registration!

That’s right, today at exactly 8:00:00 a.m., your recreation center/school district/township’s link goes live, so you’d better have your cursor poised and hovering above that button because by 8:03, all summer day camp options will be full. We expect you to bring the same energy you would if you were trying to secure Disney’s Genie Plus and Magic Kingdom dining reservations! Otherwise, you can explain to Kinley and Hayden why they don’t get to glue pipe cleaners together and contract poison ivy in the same group as their friends.

Yes, 8 a.m. is a tricky time for many parents. You may be in the middle of a work meeting, commuting, or dropping the future day campers off at school (camp registration opens while it’s still technically winter, don’t forget). Hopefully, you had the good sense to take the morning off instead of giving a retired grandparent your login information to complete the task because we already know how that’s going to work out.

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Caroline Horwitz
Caroline Horwitz

Written by Caroline Horwitz

Caroline is a humor writer from Pittsburgh. You can read more of her work at carolinehorwitzwriting.com. She hates writing bios but enjoys reading them.

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