Man Embarks on Comedic Career After Keeping Women “In Stitches” with His Pregnancy Jokes
Last week, Daniel Jones was on a Boston street when he saw a pregnant woman walking toward him. Despite Boston traditions which prohibit looking other humans in the eye, lest they feel threatened, Dan was just dying to try out his new and oh-so-unique pregnancy joke. Plus, everyone knows pregnant women don’t really count as people when it comes to social norms. So, Dan lunged at the woman and said, “you look like you’re about to pop!”
The woman, named Becky, stood frozen before her face broke into a grin and she doubled over (as much as was possible, she was enormous, after all), in giggles. Dan began to laugh too.
“I’ve never heard such a funny joke!” Becky wheezed, “usually people just leave me alone because they assume I want something they call ‘privacy,’ and that I don’t want my body to seem like public property. But I appreciate being dehumanized and harassed on downtown streets!” They laughed together some more, “you should be a comedian!” she added.
The next day, Dan seized another opportunity while at his company picnic. The head of human resources, Jasmine, eight months pregnant, approached Dan’s table as he was finishing his second hamburger. Dan reached out, patted her belly, and laughingly said, “Wow, you’re enormous! Are you sure you’re not having twins?”
Jasmine smiled warmly and laughed. “Oh, how nice it is to have someone comment about my pregnancy! Before today, no one had rubbed my belly yet and it’s so great to have a coworker touch me without permission. When a male coworker comments about how huge I’ve gotten, it just makes me feel great,” she passed Dan the tray of hotdogs and said, “you should go into comedy, you’re so funny and your jokes are so original!”
Having his confidence thus repeatedly bolstered, Dan sought out his first stand-up gig the following week. After his first open mic session, where he had the audience in stitches telling jokes about women, he signed with an agent and booked a solo comedy tour. Dan’s brand of original and harmless pregnancy comedy is, after all, something that doesn’t come along every day.
