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Humor | Satire
Modern Parenting Styles That Are Sure To Make a Lasting Impression
Forget Tiger and Helicopter parenting and embrace your inner crow
T-Rex Parent
No, don’t worry, T-rex parents don’t eat the tiny dinosaurs of the house (they’re not very meaty, after all). T-rex parents rule with tiny arms and big roars. And I don’t mean yelling — I mean literal roaring that comes from deep in your gut and might make your neighbors worry that you’re harboring a walrus in the bathtub. These guttural vibrations tend to stun the little ones into compliance.
The “tiny arm” philosophy is also the best way to raise independent thinkers. When they ask “Mommy, can you get my water?” you say, “Nope, I can’t reach it with my tiny arms!” Follow it up with a solid roar. They’ll be getting their own endless stream of snacks in no time.
Sloth Parent
Turn the tables on your young ones by becoming even slower than they are. This one’s for the reverse psychology lovers out there. When your toddler puts their shoes on at a speed of negative 10, you go even slower.
When they go low, you go lower!
Is your child whining that they can’t find the shoe you just put on them 3…
