Parenting Humor

Mom, Is It True Your Vagina Has an Antenna to Find Lost Objects?

Because it’s 10 pm, and I can’t find my homework

Amy Strommer
Frazzled
Published in
5 min readOct 6, 2023

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messy room — medium story boost.
Photo by Wonderlane on Unsplash

Mom? Dad? I know you’re getting ready for bed in your bedroom, but I can’t find my homework. Mom, can you fire up that antenna in your vee-jay and help me find my homework?

What?

I heard it on TikTok. But back to homework. I put it somewhere when I got home after school. Did you see it?

Okay, but if I knew the last place I saw it, we would not be in this position now, would we?

Fine. “We” are not in this position, but still, as my parents, doesn’t it reflect poorly on you when I don’t do well in school? What will you say to my teacher when she asks, “Why didn’t Travis turn in his homework? Is there some way you can help Travis remember his homework?” Perhaps we should get out in front of those questions, right?

Okay, I hear your lecture about responsibility, but is this really the right time? The clock is ticking. It’s now 10:10. Can you unlock your door and help me look?

Hello? Hello? Mom? What’s your vagina telling you at this moment?

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Amy Strommer
Amy Strommer

Written by Amy Strommer

Amy Strommer writes about motherhood, life, and other 3 a.m. topics. Though humor is her love language, sometimes a serious piece will land on the page.