Parenting | Humor

My Child, I Promise That You Will Absolutely Hate Frozen Pudding Ice Cream, But Sure Order It

Maple walnut or rum raisin would even be better

Photo by Mae Mu on Unsplash

I know you are very excited that we are getting ice cream. Me too.

I especially enjoyed the line of 27 undecided people in front of us.

This queue did give me a chance to try to talk you out of ordering frozen pudding ice cream. But you seem determined to ignore me.

I know you want it based on its very misleading name, which conjures a vision of creamy chocolate pudding, only colder and more delicious.

It is absolutely not that. I promise it is terrible. Why would I lie to you about this?

Why wouldn’t I want you to have a frozen chocolate treat?

I did not stand here waiting longer than it takes to churn your own ice cream so that you end up crushingly disappointed.

I swear on the holy figure of every religion that has ever existed, that you will absolutely gag on frozen pudding ice cream.

Please look at my face, and believe my words, because the family of eight in front of us are almost done ordering hot fudge sundaes without nuts and cherries, and we…