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Parenting Quiz 2.0

Babies, Toddlers, and Preschoolers — Oh, My!

Lindy Vogel
Frazzled
2 min readJun 29, 2022

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“That Kurt Vonnegut was hilar.” (Photo by Ben White on Unsplash)
  1. Is The Wizard of Oz suitable for ages 4 and under?

a.) Oh hell no. Have you seen the “witch” scenes?

b.) It’s got animal characters in it, right? It’s fiiine.

2. Your son is toilet learning. What do you say to the babysitter who is watching him all day?

a.) “You can put a diaper on him if it’s too much trouble.”

b.) “He’s freeballing it these days. Hope it all works out!”

3. Who will be the first non-family member to witness your two-year-old’s impressive swearing repertoire?

a.) Actually, you’ve managed to avoid using four-letter words around your child and see to it that everyone else does, too

b.) The nurse who gives all the shots at the pediatrician’s office

4. How old will your son be when he can effectively wipe his own ass?

a.) When he’s “ready” or leaves for college, whichever comes first

b.) He’s been good at it since he was four, when his pre-K classmate called him “Tommy Salami-big-underwear-bomb-y”

5. A 9-month-old who is teething should be allowed to gum:

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Lindy Vogel
Lindy Vogel

Written by Lindy Vogel

Salty bitch, mom of six. Founder of Sweary Mommy. Failed model. Essayist and humorist. Words in YourTango, Pregnant Chicken, Monterey Bay Parent, & Nameberry.

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