Humor | Satire | Parenting

You should’ve worn more comfortable shoes

Jennifer Haubrich

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Frazzled

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3 min read

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Mar 11, 2024

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1. The amount of coordinating with your group and the stress of getting ready is akin to a space shuttle launch. And just as serious!
2. Arriving at your destination feels like an accomplishment — until you see the line to get in.
3. The line may move quickly or slowly. No one understands the whims of the gatekeepers.
4. Eventually, a bored guy with a mystifying sense of superiority searches your bag. When he waves you on, you feel a palpable sense of relief. He didn’t notice the emergency granola bar zipped inside your bag!
5. The price of admission is borderline offensive.
6. An attendant takes your payment and puts a wristband on you without making eye contact or stopping the conversation she’s having with another attendant about a girl named Hailey who’s a “truck slut.”
7. The first thing you notice once inside is how loud it is. It sounds less like music and more like noise. Thankfully, after a few moments, your ears adjust. Or maybe you’ve lost a bit more of your hearing.
8. As you scan the crowd for people…