Parenting | Humor | Satire
Sick Child Joining Parents in Bed Results in Violation of Geneva Conventions
Innocent 4-year-old or evil mastermind?
A 4-year-old girl slowly turned the handle on her parents' bedroom door. The unsuspecting parents dozed peacefully as the mounting terror slowly proceeded across the threshold. The 4-year-old, known as Gretta, showed no signs of illness the day before, but upon entering her parents' room, let out a deep raspy cough rivaling that of a chain-smoking howler monkey.
Startled awake by the hacking sound, the parents immediately knew it was all over. They were about to have a visitor occupy the physical space between them and there was nothing they could do about it. The mother, dazed, checked her phone for the time: 2:06 a.m. Gretta approached the bed and haphazardly climbed aboard like a pirate ready to plunder. She took a strategic position between her targets and began her carefully crafted plan of disruption and sleep deprivation. Like a Trojan army lying quietly in an equestrian-shaped lignum trap ready to spring, so too lay the illness within an otherwise sweet Gretta.
To test the waters, she started with a standard toss-and-turn maneuver. Her parents, still sleep-deprived from the last four years of existing, directed her to “lay…
