The Dos and Don’ts of Barricading Yourself in the Bathroom
Will you be ready when the toddler apocalypse comes?
When the toddler invasion comes, will you be ready to defend your bathroom time or will you cower behind the toilet paper? As parents, we know that our last refuge is Good Saint John. We have given in to little fists of fury striking at the door. We have screamed “Just a minute!” to hostile three-year-olds. I say no more. It is time to defend our motherland or fatherland, most of our bathrooms are gender-neutral.
DO: Install deadbolts that lock from the inside. If you can find ones that are tamper-resistant, even better.
DON’T: Allow the toddler to take a lock picking class online. It may look like a harmless YouTube video of some kid opening little eggs, but it’s not. Clever. Very clever.
DO: Use the wastebasket to further barricade the bathroom door. If you have glitter available, sprinkle some on the ground so that if your defenses are breached, you can make your escape while they are distracted by Tinker Bell’s nose candy.
DON’T: Under no circumstances should you allow Tonka toy trucks in your house. Well, the plastic ones are OK as they have a pretty high fracture rate. However, the old school metal ones make for excellent battering rams to the angry…
