The Mandalorian’s Instructions to the Babysitter

Some things to keep in mind when watching Baby Yoda

Image by Felix Hu from Pixabay

Dear Stranger Who I Have Entrusted With Watching Baby Yoda:

Thank you for agreeing to watch the young one. As you can see, he is an exceptionally charming child, but you must not let those big brown eyes talk you into letting him get away with everything.

First, you should know that Baby Yoda is a bit of a challenging eater. I know that Happiest Baby in the Galaxy recommends children eat pureed foods at this age, but he mostly prefers raw, live frogs. Do not try to cook the frogs or blend them into a Ferroan spinach smoothie because he will just levitate the blender and smash it against the wall.

You should also try to keep him on a strict nap schedule — I have attempted a more relaxed approach in the past, but that just led to us both being up all night. Don’t let him fool you into thinking he needs you to rock him to sleep either — he is completely capable of rocking the cradle himself, and I strive to put him to bed “drowsy but awake.” If you are really having trouble getting him to settle down, just blend up a superfood smoothie — the effort involved in destroying it should wear him out.

Baby Yoda is attracted to shiny things and is in a phase where he puts everything in his mouth, so please don’t let him play in the Razor Crest’s cockpit. Some games he seems to enjoy include dressing up in my spare helmet, pretend lightsaber battling, and peekaboo.

I have heard conflicting opinions about whether or not viewing excessive holograms is a problem, but since there are some concerns about language development, I ask that you limit his screen time. I also ask that he does not watch Baby Wookiee’s ToyReview, which just seems to be an attempt to get us to fly to Kashyyyk and blow credits on a bunch of useless shiny objects.

I realize that knowing my parenting style may help you to understand how to better care for him. I’ve spent some time considering this as everyone seems to have opinions about how many words he should be speaking and whether it’s okay to let him wander around without a hat on. My line of work doesn’t make attachment parenting feasible, and while I like to give Baby Yoda his independence, I…