The Most Relatable Episode of Bluey Yet
BLUEY (characteristically upbeat V.O.): This episode of Bluey is called ‘Tantrum’.
[In the Heeler family kitchen. BANDIT is making food when BINGO walks in.]
BANDIT (buoyantly): Morning Bingo, I made you some fruit salad for brekky.
BINGO (sleepily): Yum, thanks Dad.
BANDIT: You did well last night, only woke up three times. Good on ya!
BINGO: Did you put banana in the fruit salad?
BANDIT: Sure did, kiddo. Enjoy!
BINGO (suddenly throws herself to the floor): NO DAD, NOT BANANA CUT LIKE THAT! NOOOOOOOO!
BANDIT (looking confused): How do you want it cut?
BINGO: THE OTHER WAY! WAAAAAH!
BANDIT: Sorry mate, I didn’t know there was another way. It’s cut now, so maybe just eat it?
BINGO: NOOOOO! WAAAAAAH!
BANDIT: No worries, I’ll take the banana out.
BINGO (now flailing all four legs on the ground): NO NO NOOOOOOOO!
BANDIT: Okay, I’ll leave it in.
BINGO: NOOOOOO! WAAAAAH!
BANDIT: Uh, so do you want it in or out?
BINGO: OUT!
BANDIT: Righto, the banana goes.
BINGO: NO! I WANT IT IN!
[BANDIT lets out a big sigh. BINGO continues to wail. BLUEY walks in yawning and goes over to the distraught BINGO.]
BLUEY (in a cheery but concerned voice): Bingo, what’s wrong? You woke me with your crying and I got worried.
BINGO: NOOOOOO! GO AWAY BLUEY!
[BINGO swings at BLUEY and hits her in the face.]
BLUEY: OUCH BINGO! THAT HURT! SAY SORRY!
BINGO: NO NO NO!
BLUEY: WAAAAH DAAAAD! BINGO HIT ME AND NOW WON’T SAY SORRY!
[BANDIT crouches down to be at the same level as his daughters.]
BANDIT (under his breath): Embrace the tantrum, embrace the tantrum.
BANDIT (speaking to BINGO and BLUEY): I see you’re both upset. Breathe with me. In-two-three, out-two-three.
BINGO and BLUEY: NO DAD! STOOOOP!
[BINGO throws the bowl of fruit salad at BANDIT, then runs into the backyard and starts rolling around crying. BLUEY is on the floor nursing her face and crying.]
BANDIT: OH FOR FU-
BLUEY: DAD! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SWEAR!
[BANDIT storms into the living room, finds a pillow and screams into it. He then takes a couple of deep breaths and goes back into the kitchen.]
BANDIT: Are you okay, Bluey? Bingo is a bit upset, she didn’t mean to hit you.
BLUEY (speaking through sniffles): I need ice cream and TV to feel better.
BANDIT (exasperatedly): Oh come on Bluey, don’t be such a bumblenut. It’s 6:15 in the morning, you know we don’t do that.
BLUEY: WAAAAAAH! I WANT ICE CREAM AND TV!
BANDIT (tersely): Fine! Have it your way! I need to check on Bingo.
[BLUEY skips to the freezer. BANDIT trudges into the backyard. BINGO is writhing on the ground and is now barking.]
BANDIT (in a hushed but urgent tone): Strewth Bingo, please be quiet. You’ll wake the neighbors.
BINGO: NO!
BANDIT: You’re not a wild dingo, you’re a walking, talking anthropomorphized blue heeler! Pull yourself together!
BINGO (louder): NOOOOO!
[BANDIT picks up BINGO and wrestles her inside.]
BANDIT: Sit, Bingo. Good dog.
[CHILLI walks up the front steps whistling a happy tune. She opens the front door and sets down her gym bag.]
CHILLI (brightly sings): G’day, my wackadoo family. How are you all this sunny morning?
[No one responds. CHILLI walks into the living room.]
CHILLI: What are you doing Bluey?
BLUEY (doesn’t look away from the TV and takes a mouthful of ice cream which drips all over her fur): Bingo hit me and Dad swore.
CHILLI (looking disappointed): Oh… and where are they now?
BLUEY: Dunno.
[CHILLI walks through to the kitchen and sees BINGO.]
CHILLI: Hi Bingo.
BINGO: Woof.
CHILLI (looking more disappointed): Oh, you’ve regressed.
[CHILLI hears muttering from the backyard. She walks outside and sees BANDIT rocking himself curled up in a ball.]
CHILLI: BLOODY HELL BANDIT! WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!? I CAN’T EVEN LEAVE THE KIDS WITH YOU FOR 1 HOUR!
BANDIT (shocked out of his stupor): Not so loud, honey. You’ll wake the neighbors.
CHILLI: THAT’S THE LEAST OF MY FU-
BINGO and BLUEY (from out of frame): MOM! YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO SWEAR!
[CHILLI storms into the living room, finds a pillow and screams into it.]
[From out of frame there is the sound of keys jangling and a door opening. BANDIT, CHILLI, BLUEY, and BINGO cock their heads at the sound. Then female human legs appear wearing black active-wear tights and white runners.]
UNKNOWN WOMAN (V.O.): Alright, doggos, who wants to go for a walk?
[BANDIT, CHILLI, BLUEY, and BINGO excitedly bark and wag their tails.]
[End credits.]
