Humor | Song Parody
The Poop Crisis Song
Sung to the tune of “The Beverly Hillbillies” theme song
Come and listen to my story, ‘bout a little girl,
But you’d better be prepared ’cause it’ll surely make you hurl.
One day in her crib she was supposed to be a nappin’
But inside that room somethin’ very strange was happenin’.
(Poop, that is. Tons of it. A shitload, one might say.)
Well, the first thing you know her momma opened up the door
And her gorge began to rise when she looked upon the floor.
Little cannonballs of poop were here — there — and everywhere,
There were feces on the baby’s face, her legs, and in her hair.
(Encrusted, as well — on the sheets. And on the crib too.)
Now her mama also noticed that the room had quite a smell,
It was noxious, it was fetid, putrid, — it was rank as hell.
She started in to have a serious attack of panic,
Even though the BM stuff was totally organic.
(She was tryin’ not to breathe. Also not to heave.)
So the mother grabbed her cell phone and she made a certain call
To the person that she knew would stay calm throughout it all.
She dialed 911-GRANDMA crying, “Help, emergency!”
And her mama came a-runnin’ just as quick as quick could be.
(Broke a few speed laws, along the way.)
Nana said, “This baby needs to be inside a nice warm tub,”
And pretty soon the brownish lass had gotten rub-a-dubbed.
Granny grabbed up paper towels, lots of Lysol, and some spray
And she opened up the windows so the stench would go away.
(That took a while…wonder where it went to?)
The clean-up took some time and left the grandma nauseated,
A lousy feeling in the tummy that she really hated.
But all was back to normal, things were spic and span and sane,
And they all prayed that the baby’d never mess with poop again.
(No more bowlin’ with bowels, little girl. Or playing craps with crap.)
The End
(where it all began)
