Ways to Greet Trick-or-Treaters to Make Things Even More Awkward

As if Halloween wasn’t already weird enough…

Photo by Conner Baker on Unsplash

Let’s face it. Halloween is awkward. Children dress up in costumes and knock on your door to demand candy. If you have children of your own, you get more than enough candy demands from your own children. Sometimes even in costume or naked.

You’re kind of over it. Yet, societal norms dictate that you’re supposed to engage with stranger children at your door one night per year, so let’s try to get through this together.

Here are a few greetings you can use instead of “Whoa, scary!” or “Whoa, Happy Halloween!”

• Wow! That blood is so realistic. Are all your pets OK?
• What brand toilet paper did you use to make that mummy costume? It looks ultra soft! Can I borrow a piece?
• Cool! You’re dressed as a box grater! Make America Grate Again…am I right? Get it? I promise I’m not a white supremacist.
• Oh, awesome! I admire your courage for wearing that poop emoji costume after what happened last week in the school cafeteria. Way to own it, Joseph!
• Oh my. Are you a doctor? Because I really need someone to look at this rash on my foot ASAP!
• You didn’t have to dress up like a…