Humor | Satire
What, Your Baby Doesn’t Have Their Own Personal Brand Yet?
A how-to-guide for clueless parents
Are you really going to let your baby just be a baby?
Don’t you want them to stand out??
Don’t you need them to get accepted into that highly selective exclusively French-speaking Montessori free-range child-led Waldorf salad outdoor microschool you’ve been dreaming about since the day you found out you were pregnant???
Well, you can’t expect your baby to be anything other than just another baby, if you don’t help them define their own personal brand.
And you have to do it before it gets too late — while they’re still a baby!
If you truly want the best for your baby, you must be willing to put in the work to prove it — by guiding them in crafting their uniquely adorable, possibly highly profitable, personal brand.
Maybe you’re wondering, how exactly do I support my baby in their unique, once-in-a-lifetime journey of inventing their uber special, and anything but average personal baby brand?
Well, here’s how:
